We're Fated To Pretend
by Pretention by Calvin Klein
Summary: So, regular highschool sucks, but here it's way worse. On the one hand the students are normal kids. On the other hand, they're disney characters on the inside, and they know it. Some of them even have their powers, even the bad guys. Welcome to Grimm's.
1. ISN'T IT NEAT?

**What follows is more or less based on an RPsite that I play on called Time To Pretend, which began in July of last year. Pretty fun concept, and with enough characters to make a story out of. So yeah, have fun reading.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Disney. Disney owns Disney. Various characters are copyright the people who play them.**

**Plot: The spirits of Disney characters were made real by mass belief in them, and they've manifested themselves inside of teenagers in the near future. The kids are their own people but the presence of the characters is definitely felt in all of them. And they attend a boarding school together to control what exists within them. These are their stories.**

WE'RE FATED TO PRETEND CHAPTER ONE: ISN'T IT NEAT?

There was a majesty that accompanied September at Grimm's. At least for the kids that attended the school in question. For the staff it was more of a whirlwind period of pre emptive strikes on potential groups getting ready for hazing, breaking off fights, and trying to introduce the newest students to the madness. For the kids it was kind of like going to an even more exclusive version of Hogwarts because in every kid there was a spirit. And for each kind of spirit there was a section of the school. For example, if a student had a royal hanging around inside of them of good or neutral alignment they went to the Ingraea tower and made their home there. If the student had an ordinary protagonist, sidekick, or animal friend in their soul they went to the Citomis dorm on the ground floor. If there was a magical creature that was good or neutral inside of the student they went to the Vesperium wing. And if they were a villain on the inside they lived in the Elithos dorms in the dungeons.

Some students were lucky enough to get magical powers from the spirits that were inside of them, others just had their natural abilities enhanced by an animal spirit of some kind. Most often though the kids were just as ordinary as any others, but they saw things in the world. Things that were different, that ordinary people couldn't see. And that was because on some level, in a strange way, these kids were all created out of fantasy.

But that's all background stuff. The kids attend the school. They act mostly normal; they have a good time…mostly.

Tiffany Clearwater hoped that she was going to have a good time this year. Well she hoped at the very least that she'd have at least something that resembled a good time. She was fifteen now, that meant that she was officially one of the senior students as she was entering the last three years of attendance at Grimm's. That meant that she got to hang out with the older students. The coolest kids in the school, and she'd be lying if she said she wasn't a little exhilarated. Tiff was the kind of person that relied very heavily on what other people thought of her to define herself. And so as she lugged her final suitcase up to her room in Ingraea tower and tossed it on her bed, she made sure she looked her best. Her long blond hair was pulled back into a messy bunch held with a big brown clip. Her outfit, comprised of a pair of athletic brown short shorts and an aqua coloured hoodie as nice looking as her meager summer job's earnings could manage, and her stride was long and confident. She held her head high until she dumped the suitcase on her bed with a heavy sigh and ran a hand through her hair.

She wondered how long before she could escape to another part of the grounds. The lake maybe. She knew she probably wouldn't be seeing her friends until later that night. Tiff had always been attracted to the lake. She could breathe under water, it was one of her lucky gifts from the spirit thing. She happened to have Adella, one of Ariel's sisters from _The Little Mermaid _making up a chunk of her soul. And she rather liked it thank you very much. She could resist water pressure, and talk to fish, and swim around and never have to come up. Except for food of course. And it was awesome. She got off pretty well for an obscure character only mentioned once.

Glancing out at the lake, Tiff was fairly certain she could probably get out there before any administrative people came looking for her. Making her sign things. All that jazz. Her roommates weren't in just yet. That was good, she'd known the girls for five years, but she either wanted to see her best friends, or none at all. Slipping off her flip flops she hopped up onto her bed and was about to lie down when…

"BOO!"

"AAHH!"

THUNK.

Will Chepi had a way about her that made her almost impossible to notice unless she wanted to be seen. Most Vesperium did. It was sort of a fairy trait that they all seemed to possess. And so it worked out well when she was trying to startle her very non-Vesperium friends. She smirked at Tiff from her place behind the door with a smirk on her face as Tiff got up onto the bed once more. She'd fallen off. Things felt sore.

"Ugh. _Will, _you know how I hate it when you use that on me. It's not fair!" Tiff whined, nose wrinkled. Will sat down on the bed next to her, legs crossed.

"Muffin, you were just off guard because you haven't had that happen for two months." She reasoned. Will was great at that. Making things make sense, even if they were ridiculous. Her spirit helped with that. Will, fittingly, had Grandmother Willow kicking around inside of her. She was a tall girl, much more than her age, thin and lithe with tan skin and long straight dark hair. She definitely looked the part, especially due to the hippie way that she tended to dress. She grinned widely at Tiff and promptly embraced her, a tight hug around her friend. Tiff hugged back. They were in the same year and had met on the very first day. It was very lucky of them to bond like that. Though at that school they tended to stress fate over luck.

"When did you get here?" asked Will.

"Umm, got out of the taxi about a half hour ago, been lugging up luggage ever since. I never noticed how much that word made sense." She mused with a casual shrug. "What about you, how long have you been waiting to jump me?"

"Oh I followed you in just now, but I've been here since this morning. Got the early flight out here." She replied. The two of them got up. "Let's grab lunch, I wanna see if anybody else is here." Tiff grabbed her student card and locked her door, heading out of her wing and then down the spiral staircase out of the tower alongside Will.

"Seen Brick or Lyle yet, then?" asked Tiffany curiously. Brick Lemeux and Lyle Decklen were the other two members of their foursome. They stuck together like strands of hair drenched in Aquanet. It functioned well, and now as senior students they were ready to take on that populace. If only they knew more than just a handful of them. Lyle had Junior, the little elephant from the Jungle book in him, and was therefore considered a sidekick animal friend. Brick was another kind of sidekick, a henchman. Lefou to be exact. And despite what his spirit might entail he was actually a fairly decent guy. It was often stated at Grimm's that it wasn't smart to judge people solely by their house or spirit. But it happened nine times out of ten anyway. It was just the way that kids were.

Will shook her head with a sigh. "I checked out Citomis, only found Adara Corrigan and Cam Penn in some kind of argument. So yeah, I booked it out there as fast as humanly possible. And obviously, well, I'm not gonna go check on Brick." It was never smart for a non Elithos to go to the Dungeons alone until they were old enough to defend themselves. You never knew when you were about to run into a senior villain. Those kids packed one hell of a punch, even if they weren't magical.

So just to hammer this point in a little bit more, Villains are bad. But that also happens to make them undisputedly the coolest kids in the whole goddamn school. Everybody in Grimm's knew that. They didn't challenge it. They just stayed the hell out of the Dungeons, and everything was kosher.

"That sucks, I mean, we shouldn't be afraid to go places in our own school. It's just not natural." Tiff muttered.

"What exactly about Grimm's is natural, Tiffany, enlighten me." Will retorted dully, wrinkling her nose. She folded her arms. "So you heard that silly hazing rumour that's going around?"

Tiff cocked her head to the side a little. "What do you mean rumour, hazing is real." She said as they continued on their path to the cafeteria.

"No way, with the amount of magical kids we have running around Grimm's hazing would be too dangerous to take part in. It just doesn't make sense." She mused. Tiff shook her head.

"Uh uh, I was talking to Benji Harris last year, and he said to me that when kids in Ingraea turn fifteen they get ushered into the senior years with a badass hazing ritual." Benji Harris, Simba. And he acted a hell of a lot like Simba too. Bug eating tree swinging Simba, not responsible king Simba.

"Benji's lying, and even if he's not, it probably just applies to Ingraea. You know how ridiculous people in your house can get." It was true. Ingraea did have a reputation for being full of frivolous royal types. Tiff pulled a face and looked around for a second or two.

"Know what, I'm gonna prove you wrong. I'm gonna find an older kid from your house and they're gonna tell you that people in Vesperium haze too." Tiff stated determinedly as she looked around. She ground her teeth and grabbed Will's arm before she could protest, then charged around in search of someone. After about ten minutes of nothing she saw a face she recognized, if only barely, and it was indeed beneficial to her argument.

November Windsor, nice girl, tiny, wild brown hair. She was an eighth year Vesperium, and also the Fairy Godmother. And was also apparently some kind of British sophisticate in the summer months. But that wasn't what needed considering right then. Though currently engrossed in reading a text, Tiffany marched up to her and stood in front of her.

"Vembie Windor?" she sort of asked, in a semi confident way that revealed a lack of confidence in what she was doing. Vembie turned her gaze up to Tiff expectantly.

"Yeah, Tiffany?"

"Will doesn't believe that they haze the fifth years in Vesperium too." She said firmly. "Please correct her." Vembie shot both of them a look like they were crazy and set down her phone.

"Wilhelmina Chepi, does it make sense to you that the house with the reputation for the best parties, the most insane students on average, with total access to magic would NOT haze their younger kids?" she asked plainly. Will paled considerably and Tiff got a look of pure satisfaction.

"Hah, I knew I was right."

"I was afraid of that."

Lyle Decklen had a problem. The scrawny, red headed young Citomis boy was currently standing before the dormitory with a grimace on his face. He'd heard rumour as soon as he'd made it through the gates that there was hazing to come. It was a ritual. It happened to all the fifth year kids apparently. But Lyle was not made for hazing. Lyle was made for standing there and waiting it out, or escaping. He had neither the staying power nor the physical strength of the elephant that he housed. He had the durability, he supposed, but that didn't help the mental scars he feared he'd received. Citomis folk were pretty screwed up at times. He knew he was likely to get screwed over. So Lyle decided to get in, sneak up into his room, and then get out as fast as he could. And it would have worked too, if he hadn't rushed into a man wall and almost broken his glasses. His eyes bulged. AHH! Was it an upper classman?

"What's up, Lyle, you look like you've seen a ghost! Did you see a ghost? I hope not…" Ohh, okay. It was Brick, now looking frightened at the prospect of Grimm's being haunted. It probably was, but Lyle wasn't going to tell the poor simp that. He grimaced up at Brick as he readjusted his glasses.

"No, no. No ghosts Brick. Happy to see you though." He gave him a slap on the shoulder haplessly. Brick was hardly a Lefou in appearance. He was more likely to get mistaken for Gaston. Right down to the low IQ glint in his eyes. But he was good on the inside, and ridiculously loyal. So those were all points for Brick. He chuckled a little and stuck his hands in his pockets.

"Yeah, for sure. You seen the girls yet?" asked Brick as they started walking away from the Citomis dorm. Lyle shook his head. "Awww, because I went to both their dorms and couldn't find them. How're things in Citomis?"

Lyle shrugged. "I was only there for five seconds, but I'm assuming the same as in Elithos?" Brick blinked in surprise.

"YOUR couch is on fire too?" he asked dumbfounded. Lyle's eyes bulged.

"Nonono, and I guess not then. WHY is your couch on fire, and why hasn't anyone put it out?" It was typical that shit went down in Elithos, but that was just silly. Brick shrugged.

"I think Daphne got mad at it." He said with a shrug. "Or mad with someone on her phone, or you know, bored. I don't care, I ran." Daphne Weber. Maleficent. Enough said. The two boys shuddered in union.

"So hear about the hazing?" asked Lyle as they wandered more or less aimlessly down the hall. In a general forward direction would be the best word for it. Brick nodded his head vigorously.

"And I have a plan for it too." He said with a broad grin. Lyle raised an eyebrow. What the hell did this mean? "Okay, we're gonna find Will and Tiff and then we'll see, okay?"

Still a little shaky on this premise, Lyle gave him a cautious look. "…Okay…"

And so the four of them were reunited, standing and waiting for whatever Brick was going to do. Arms folded, Will gave the thug a questionable look and Brick grimaced. "Bare with me, we just have to go out into the grounds." He explained, hoping this helped get his point across.

"The grounds? Why? It's almost dinner." Lyle questioned.

"I swear to God, Brick, if this is you making a rite of passage as a villain by leading us into the woods to get jumped, we're all going to be very pissy." Said Tiff firmly. Brick's brow furrowed and he ground his teeth a little.

"I _swear_ that that's not the case!" Brick asserted in an exasperated kind of way. "Now come on!"

So they followed him out into the grounds as the sun dipped beneath the horizon in the background. Much to their pleasure, they actually found that Brick had done well. Will nodded in approval and looked to Brick who grinned broadly in his own triumph. "I gotta hand it to you, Brickey, you did good." She stated. Brick had managed to get a tent together on the grounds.

"Yeah, I got granola bars too. We can just sleep out here tonight and wait out the hazing. It won't be that bad, it's practically summer after all." He said.

"We can't live off granola bars." Lyle muttered. "Can you conjure food yet, Will."

"I've actually never tried. But it's not like my powers really lend themselves to that in the first place." She muttered. "But we'd only be here for a few hours. Until sunrise." She stated.

"Sunrise? How far away is that?" asked Tiff.

Lyle shuddered. "About ten hours."

"So just before sunrise then. We can probably swing that." Brick mused.

"This all seems a little much to avoid what's going on." Tiff mused. The group nodded. "We're still doing it though, aren't we?"

The group nodded.

There was a quiet lull to the grounds at night. A soft summer breeze ran against Tiff's body as she lay wedged in between Brick and Will in the tent, now dozing for reasons she couldn't quite place. What had woken her up? She didn't quite know. Yawning she decided to make herself comfortable again.

And then she heard a crunch in the grass.

Her brow furrowed as she tried to place it for a second or two. Her heart began to slowly quicken in tempo as she slowly began to sit up. There was another one. She felt the hairs on the back of her neck began to rise as she felt tempted to open the window of the tent. A third. Biting her lip she turned to wake up her friends and then just as the words were about to pass through her lips…

"ATTAAAAAAAAACKKKKKKKKK!!!!!"

The tent was literally hoisted out of the ground and they all sunk together like a bag full of kittens. It shook and the kids inside of it screamed bloody murder before it was unzipped and they were dumped on the ground. Weighing in at 218lbs, standing at 6'7", with wild mercurial hazel eyes and a mischievous smirk, Angus Rex, Zeus, stood holding their tent. He tossed it to the side as from all angles it seemed people were charging at them. The kids immediately screamed and started running in whatever direction they could find.

"YOU'RE NOT GETTING AWAY THAT EASILY" cried a voice from the crowd and a boy in a ski mask booked forward tossing a net at Lyle which promptly covered him. "IN ORDER TO JOIN US IN OUR MIGHTY FRATERNITY YOU MUST SUFFERRRRRR!"

"SUFFER LIKE A KID WITH A FESTERING BOIL ON DATE NIGHT!" cried another in a ski mask who ran after Tiffany as she screamed and started making for the lake. None of them could get her there.

"SUFFER LIKE A KID WHO JUST ATE INDIAN FOOD AND NOW HAS TO SIT THROUGH AN EXAM! SUFFFERRRRRRRRR" cried the net boy as a bunch of his friends started hoisting up a struggling Lyle.

"SUFFFERRRRRRRRR-that was actually really good Thom-ERRRRRRRRRRAARWRRRRRR" cried the boy chasing Tiff.

"RAWWRRRRR-thanks Benji-RRRRRRR"

"GUYS YOU'RE BETRAYING THE AWESOME." Called a third voice through the crowd. It was female, and it was in Will's direction. She was booking it into the woods, presumably to camouflage amongst the trees. "GET BACK HERE YOU WILLOW VARMENT!" Magic flashed through the trees. A wild cackle came out of the woods. It was very clear that Will was toast.

Brick was booking it in the direction of the school, only to get side tackled by a short, stocky girl in a striped shirt and a ski mask. She cackled as she held him down and a second boy appeared to help her steady him. Two young ladies appeared to see what was to be done about that. One bent down to say something to Brick as he looked up at her to try and figure out who she was. No such luck, a mask. "Bonjour" she said with a smirk, squatting down next to him and poking him with something very hot. She was immediately shoved to the side by another who sent a shockwave of magic through him, paralyzing him.

"Back the fuck off, I'm in charge of this." Snapped the witch. She levitated him off of the ground much to sounds of disdain from the others. Two men, both tall, one muscular, one scrawny and sticklike started chuckling and prodding and disorienting Brick as they pulled a bag over his head. The French girl wrinkled her nose and then re lit her cigarette.

"Dawww, Brick, you're not SCARED are you?" asked the tall one, leaning in real close. Brick was fairly sure he recognized his voice. Panicky he hoped to be thrown a bone. 

"Dusty, is that you?" he asked jerking his head around wildly. The scrawny one's finger's wrapped around the back of his head and lifted up the front of his mask to shove the end of a beer bottle in his mouth.

"Don't go asking stupid questions, Brickey, relax, have a BEER." And then he let it drop, cackling to himself.

Brick was scared, he knew the big one was Dusty now, but why would he get involved in this. He guessed even friends helped out with the hazing, and even though Dusty was two years older than him, he was his buddy, he was Gaston, how could he not be?

"Why don't you two stop acting like some dipshit thugs and maybe let me cart this straggler to the dungeons?" Daphne growled, dragging the petrified Brick away.

"Why don't you shut the fuck up and maybe let someone other than YOU enjoy this, dragoncrotch." Snapped the scrawny one in response with a "HEAR HEAR" and a beer bottle raising from Dusty to back up his sentiment. What followed was squabbling and magic being thrown back and forth between all the villains who could dish it out. The two henchmen looked at each other and started guiding the levitated Brick away, down to the dungeons. The rest of them would catch up later. That was the trouble with Villains, they worked excellently on their own, but it was only special circumstances in which they could really truly work together before getting pissed off, stabbing each other in the back, or arguing over how things were to be done.

Tiff was still running for the water, with an impressive amount of space between her and the rest of her house that were apparently involved. She was just about there, just about, and so she waded in, flipping the mob off as she did so. Then she dove down into the deeper parts, sighing as the serenity of the water started to seep into her. She'd be alright here. Tiffany smirked up at the surface and then…

Her wrist was grabbed. SON OF A BITCH! She found herself looking at, through the dark water, an older boy, seventeen now she was fairly sure. From her house. God damn, she hadn't thought Leo'd be interested in something like hazing. He never seemed to want to help out with the things that went on within Ingraea otherwise. Very aloof he was, or at least gruff. She gave him a pleading gesture. She just wanted to go to SLEEEP. Appeal to his paternal instincts. What paternal instincts? Triton or not, she knew that Leo could give a shit about most if not all of the girls who had the spirits of his daughters. Or at the very least they really grated on his nerves.

"No, fuck you, I win." Said Leo with a nod, and then he pulled her up to the surface where she was immediately tossed into the crowd with a yelp. She groaned as she was carried off mosh put style back to the castle, hordes of older kids running around and partying. Tiff felt something like a human sacrifice.

It was a lesson the four kids would learn over and over again. The older kids ran the show, and there was nothing that they could do about it.


	2. BITTERSWEET AND STRANGE

WE'RE FATED TO PRETEND CHAPTER 2: BITTERSWEET AND STRANGE

The morning after the hazing was met with groans and grumbles that sort of resembled a hangover. Tiffany lay half in her bed, half on her floor, half asleep. What time was it? She glanced up at her clock for a second and much to her surprise and shame it was actually early afternoon. Two thirty. She could barely remember what happened the night before. Something having to do with a shower, she was fairly sure. Oh…right. They'd left that one shower stanky all summer thanks to a spell, and they'd all had to get onto their hands and knees and clean it with their own toothbrushes while singing 'Be A Man' from _Mulan _verbatim. And every time they messed up it got dirtier. Then they had to climb to the very top of the tower military style under a net of some strange gelatinous material that made you reappear at the bottom of the stairs. It was not a fun night. And then when they got to the top of the tower they were done, and allowed to go to bed, but found that once they got into bed there was a spell that made them feel like they were naked regardless of how much they put on, and that included blankets. Eventually Tiffany had fallen asleep. But she had never known life in the Ingraea dorm to be quite so cruel.

Needless to say most of the older kids found it hilarious. They'd followed the fifth years around, drinking and poking fun. Hell, even some of the more abrasive, quiet, and otherwise antisocial kids got in a good laugh. Tiffany was definitely going to have to compare notes with the rest of her friends later. Or did she? Se felt sort of better about just pretending the whole thing didn't happen. And so as she dressed herself haphazardly and trudged to the foyer to go down the stairs she cursed inwardly at the arrival of Benji Harris. He slung an arm around her shoulder with a broad childish grin that typically accompanied his presence. "Get much sleep last night?" he said with a chuckle. Tiffany wrinkled her nose and he mussed up her hair. "Oh don't be too mad, you get to do it to other kids next year." Tiffany yelped and covered her hair quickly. It didn't look horrible, she wanted to keep it that way. In a strange form of revenge she attempted to screw with the long brown locks sprouting from Benji's head. The seventh year just grabbed her by the head and held her at arms' length.

And then from behind she was promptly picked up by one of Benji's partners in crime. Thom Presley, a Citomis. Timon. "Don't be a spoil sport Tiffany. Come on, hazing is fuuun. And now you're part of the older kid family." he said excitedly. God dammit, it was hard for anybody to stay mad at Thom. He only used his powers of being Thom to annoy, and yet still there was something weirdly endearing about him. Tiffany yanked the strings of Thom's hoodie and he found himself blinded, so he tossed her at a nearby couch. He had not realized that the heap of blankets said couch had a person in it. Someone who had not quite made it to their bed the night before.

"Urrghhhh.." Tiffany was abruptly punted off the couch with a yelp. Benji and Thom's eyes bulged with a sort of 'oops' look.

"OH SHIT, GERMAN WOLFBEAR! CHEESE IT!" cried Thom, dragging Benji out of the dorm. What emerged from under the covers was a girl with long wavy brown hair, distinctive muscle definition and a sour look on her face.

"What the fuck is going on, don't they know a hang over when they see one?" she hissed. Tiffany swore they screwed up when they stuck Heidi LePrince in Ingraea. There was NO way that she was Belle. NO way. Heidi tended to be…well, unpleasant wasn't the word. Badass. There were rumours that she carried knives and also that she was involved with Kirill Raminov from Elithos, otherwise known as Shere Khan. Tiffany supposed the regular Beast wasn't enough beast for her.

"I…I guess not." Tiffany stated, her voice catching in her throat in uncertainty. Heidi sighed and cast her a look as she sat up properly and ran a hand through her hair. She cast her tired eyes on Tiffany for a moment who shrunk just a little in her presence. Heidi was intimidating, maybe not to people her own age, but Tiffany was young enough to be afraid of her. Or at the very least made uneasy. Tiffany had met almost all of the main princesses, and they were all sort of weird.

Tiff liked Spencer Readding, or Ariel, naturally. Probably because Spencer was very similar to her character. She was bubbly, adventurous, didn't take things too seriously. Easy going. Tiff felt alright around that. That being said, she was surprised to know that a lot of the other people from their story didn't much like her. She knew that Carrie and Jasper Vahn, the twins who happened to be Arista and Attina didn't have much of an opinion of her. Tiff couldn't understand why, Spencer was great. Tiff didn't know what Leo thought of her. She'd have to ask him some time, but Leo was often gruff and standoffish to just about everyone, so she wasn't sure if she'd even get an answer.

Like Heidi, Roxanne Rose or Cinderella unsettled Tiff. Tiff had only really met her once or twice, but she'd come off as like SUPER brash and always seemed to be off in her own little world. So Tiff avoided associating with her as best she could.

Tiff had more or less decided that most people who weren't outright nasty to her counted as friends. And so she had a friend in Leila McKinney or Princess Aurora. Unless Tiff brought up Spencer. Leila didn't much like Spencer. Leila also knew a lot about Leo, because they were really close or something. Tiff had thought Leila was his girlfriend, this wasn't the case, they were just friends. But Tiff had always wanted to know what was up with the other characters in her story, so she'd asked about him somewhat. Apparently Leila wasn't about to spill. That was frustrating. Tiff wanted to be friends with just about everyone in her story. Except Ursula. But Tiff had never met her, and didn't intend to. She'd heard stories though, pretty vague. But she knew Ursula was at the school.

"You guess not." Heidi muttered getting up. Tiffany jumped back. Heidi gave her a look and folded her arms. "Oh relax, will you? Do I _look _like a wolf bear?" It was then that Tiffany had to question what the hell a wolf bear actually was. She had to assume it was some sort of roidridden east German she beast. And Heidi didn't look like she was roidridden, but Tiffany had heard that she'd bare knuckle boxed her way through an alleged fight club going on in the dungeons. And had celebrated by having sex with Kirill on Daphne's bed, then flipped off the dragon woman as she left. Tiffany kind of hoped that was just a rumour. But it was acknowledged that Heidi was one of the manliest men in Ingraea, terrifyingly enough.

"No, no you don't look like a wolf bear." she said meekly. Heidi raised an eyebrow and shook her head, walking over to the hallway where the seventh year girl's dorms were. Then she turned.

"Grow some lady balls by the time I come back, OR ELSE." Tiffany couldn't tell if that was a joke or not. So she just ran.

…

"So I ran."

"Pfft. Wuss." Ray Starkey. Jetsam. Who had been talking to Brick. He'd been mentoring Brick in how to be a successful henchman. It wasn't going too well, because none of Ray's little gems of malevolent wisdom seemed to be rubbing off on Brick. Now, Ray had gone into this knowing that Brick was none too bright, but that hadn't meant he wasn't suggestible. Apparently Brick wasn't suggestible either. A bit of a headache for somebody who was known for his ability to manipulate people. Tiff, Will, and Lyle weren't exactly pleased at his presence. Ray Starkey was a sketchy guy. They were currently sitting around having their breakfast and Ray had joined them sort of out of nowhere.

"I am _not a wuss! You spend ten minutes with Heidi sometime." Tiff retorted with narrowed eyes. Ray shook his head. _

"_I have. She's not that bad. You're a wuss." he said decidedly. Will grimaced a bit and threw an arm around Tiff's shoulder in what she imagined was support. Ummm…nope. She gave her a casual squeeze._

"_Much as I hate to ever agree with the slimey green wonder over here." Earned a look from Ray for that one. "That was a touch wussy, maybe we need to help you grow some resolve."_

"_I can help with that." Ray said with a shrug. Brick nodded encouragingly._

"_No." said Tiff and Will in union. Lyle shook his head and made a shooing gesture. Ray's brow furrowed and he glanced at Brick who shrugged. Nobody in their right mind would accept Ray's help, though he seemed to be an excellent manipulator regardless. He was a wirey little scene kid, and a seventh year though he didn't look it next to Brick's over active pituitary gland addled body that made him tower over him at 6'3. So naturally there was just a little excitement added to Brick's general mood that an older kid was taking interest in him. They grades all seemed to mingle more once they got into the older end of things._

"_I'd have accepted your help." he said honestly. And really, that was because Brick was an idiot. An idiot with a good heart, but nonetheless a complete idiot. Ray pat him on the head and shot the rest of them a disaffected smirk._

"_Well, you know where to find me." he said. Will raised an eyebrow. _

"_No we don't."_

"_Right…right….I should really think twice before accepting anything Mort says is awesome. Druggie dick…" Ray muttered. This confused them all but Brick ironically enough, and before Ray could explain he was up and walking off. Nobody could really say whether they wanted him back around or not. Lot of sketchy characters at Grimm's._

"_Mort?"_

"_Seventh year, friend of Ray's. He's been in the Ingraea dorm a couple times, you've probably seen him. Bout six feet tall, black hair…ringing any bells?" Brick clarified. The rest of them shook their heads. "Eh, I'll introduce you sometime."_

_None of them had any interest in meeting an associate of Ray's, but none of them were going to say it. So they let Brick sit there and think it._

_Will thought it best she change the subject so she drummed her hands in her pockets. "Okay…sooo…how'd the hazing go for you guys? I got turned into a rabbit by Jezebel Feverwick and then me and all of the other third years got rounded up in a sack and driven out to the city limits and dropped at the side of a highway. We had to find our way back by morning otherwise we'd change back naked wherever we were when the sun came up." Wow…The Vesperiums were sort of hardcore._

"_Pfft. That's nothing." said Tiff. And she relayed her experience. The other kids nodded respectfully. Lyle shrugged._

"_Mine wasn't so bad because none of us have magic at our disposal. But we did have to sit in a dark room and listen to Celine Dion for six hours while the other kids threw fruit at us." he mused dully as he poked at his scrambled eggs. The other kids shuddered. Will pat him on the shoulder. "What about you, Brick?"_

"_It's the funniest thing, but I don't remember." It wasn't the funniest thing. Brick forgot shit all the time. "Well, I gotta get to class. Today we're learning the best way to dispose of a body."_

"_Disney villains don't kill people." said Tiffany, affronted. Brick shook his head. "And even if they did, they wouldn't teach kids how to do that stuff._

"_Yeah well they also wouldn't teach kids how to hold out for a man to run their lives but they do in your classes." Will muttered. Tiffany slapped her arm. There were some classes on royalty that Tiffany took that didn't agree with modern enlightened female leanings. But Tiffany didn't much like to think about that._

"_I don't know why we're learning it either, but it happens." he said with a shrug. And Brick was off._

_Lyle's brow furrowed. "Grimm's is sort of dumb when it comes to curriculum isn't it?" he mused. The two girls nodded. They were silent for a moment or two. It wasn't fun to learn that their real life Hogwarts taught a lot of what was most certainly hogwash. But hell, they got to be privy to all sorts of awesome things. Like they got to know that magic was real. They got to live in a castle. They got to meet some ridiculously interesting people. So that was sort of a trade off. And hell, graduating from Grimm's meant that if they did well in the bird courses they'd have wicked high averages and that meant that they could get it into whatever schools they wanted. And that was sort of amazing. _

_Will conjured herself up some more eggs Benedict and chomped away at it, looking around at the rest of the kids in the cafeteria. "So I start the mentor program today…y'know, to learn magic." she mused as she glanced over to where a bunch of older Vesperium were sitting and eating. Oh and one Ingraea. Orenda Slater was Angus' girlfriend. She was a tall thin pretty young British girl with dark skin and eyes who looked very much contrasted against Angus' Scottish paleness. Currently sitting in his lap they were across the table from Jezebel Feverwick. Never had a fight broken out between Madam Mim and Pocahantas, but eh, anyone could see it coming. Wow that was a weird sentence. Either way, Angus looked visibly perturbed about it and that made the three of them feel pretty bad for the hulk of a man. Jazzy and Angus were just about best friends, and well, Ren was sort of being a Yoko in Jezebel's very obvious opinion._

"_You have to step into that vortex of awkward?" asked Lyle with eyes wide. Will shrugged with a small smile._

"_In Jazz and Angus' words they're gonna teach me how to be awesome. And they're eighth years, they've gotta know what they're talking about." she reasoned casually. Lyle and Tiff exchanged looks. So Ray was going to be Brick's mentor, Jazz and Angus were Will's. Were they part of that program? Tiff whipped out her phone to check her email. Oh, there it was. Who was Noelle Williams? She'd have to go find out. Lyle tapped her shoulder. _

"_Can I log into mine? I didn't even know that this was going on." he said. Tiff handed him her phone and while feeling particularly emasculated by holding onto the pink monstrosity he logged out of her student email account and pulled up his. He nodded vaguely and shrugged. "Oh, I know him. Barty Dalton? He's Zazu. Spends a lot of time in the library." Should be fine, Lyle felt himself relax entirely. Last thing he needed was to spend however long this was going on chasing after someone like Thomas Presley or Bethann Parkman. Timon and Pumbaa, buh, that'd be fun._

"_Why do you get two, Will?" asked Tiffany. Will shrugged._

"_Because I'm magic. And things could go very wrong very fast. Seems like it's going to be a lot of good cop bad cop though." And by that she meant hiding behind Angus while Jezebel hurled fireballs at her for screwing up. It was a legitimate fear. Lyle and Tiffany caught that._

_They didn't catch, however, that they had been snuck up on. "TRAINING BEGINS AT ELEVEN HUNDRED HOURS, PRIVATE. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?" a loud feminine voice shrieked behind them. There was a yelp in union and the three of them turned around. Jezebel Feverwick, standing there in her black tube top and electric blue skinny jeans with a lime green beaded necklace and 80s sunglasses with bright pink rims. She looked like Lady Gaga's protégé. _

"_It's…10:45, Jazz." said Will, looking at her phone. Jazz snatched her phone and stuck it in her back pocket. "HEY!"_

"_NO PRIVATE, IT'S KICKASS O'CLOCK. AND ONCE CAPTAIN PLANET OVER THERE GETS OFF ZEUSY WE'LL BE GETTING DOWN TO BUSINESS!" she roared, looking over at Angus with narrowed eyes. Angus murmured something to Ren and she nodded, and she was off to go meet up with some other Ingraea. _

_The giant walked over and ruffled Will's hair while the other two sat there and tried not to get into Jazzy's malicious line of fire. It was commonly wondered why the girl wasn't in Elithos. There were plenty of magic users in Elithos. But apparently Mim was more silly than out and out evil so they'd stuck her in Vesperium. "Ye best be getting ready, quine. We got a whole day planned, don we Jazz." said Angus. Jezebel folded her arms and smirked. _

_She hoisted Will up by her shoulder. "Come on, cupcake, let's go." she said with a smirk. Angus shook his head and followed as they headed out. "STAY FEARFUL, DUCKLINGS!" A shudder ran through the two of them._

"_Well, we should probably go find our mentors before we run into anything worse than that." Tiffany could think of a lot of things._

"_Yeah, totally."_

"_See you later, Lyle."_


	3. LET'S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS

Wooooaaahkay. Little late on the new chapter. BUT WORRY NOT! IT'S HERE!

WE'RE FATED TO PRETEND CHAPTER 3: LET'S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS

"TO DEFEAT, THE HUNNNNSSS HUHHHHH!" cried Will as she stood in the woods and was made to grow innumerable foliage from and around the trees. Jazzy had decided that they needed a training song. And while Angus might have protested to human reasoning, Jazzy had continued prodding Will with a sharp stick until she did it. This was not as fun of a mentoring experience as Will had imagined. But as she sat there meditating on her powers she was pleased to see that SOMETHING was coming from looking like an idiot in the woods.

"Jezebel?" asked Angus where he sat downing something from a water bottle. Will could only really see them from her periphery, but Madam Mim was now sitting next to him, legs crossed.

"Yes, Angus?" she asked as seriously as he sounded.

"When did we turn into good cop bad cop?"

"Well I think it was around about the same time that your balls jumped up into your body. Honestly, Angus. Might as well be calling you Agnes." she said firmly, eyes narrowed.

"Soooo….humiliating youth long after the initiation has come and gone, that's totally rational." he asked deadpan.

"Of course, everything I do is totally rational." she said, patting him on the arm. Angus rolled his eyes. God, Will had only been kinda sorta eavesdropping for ten seconds and they already sounded like an old married couple. But then again, Angus and Jazz were kind of legendary at Grimm's. There was a special kind of insanity that accompanied their presence. For the last eight years the two of them had been a force of nature at that school, and now they were leaving at the end of the year. Graduating. What happened to kids from Grimm's when they graduated? There were all sorts of conspiracy theories that a lot of the kids had. Ones that involved them being shipped off to some super exclusive bio dome or something disturbing like that where the Disney corporation kept an eye on them. There was also the crushing realization that this was the closest any of them would ever get to real and actual magic, unless they were magic users, and in a blink of an eye it would be gone. And what of the magic users, like Will. They were taught throughout their adolescence to love their magical gifts and allow them to flourish, and then after graduation they were just suppose to turn them off? Never address them again? Apparently, and it made Will just a little bit frightened.

How would Jezebel handle it? How would Angus? Just how far did their powers go? Did they get longevity? Was Angus immortal? She knew he was invulnerable, maybe that was the first step towards it? Oh god, that poor guy. He was just about alone in the world with himself. Nobody like him…Except Hades. Or were the other stories that were brought to life by imagination. Will imagined that the old folktales that had scared children for centuries probably had versions of people like them. My, that'd be something interesting to look into. She'd have to check the library for that. She had no idea of what to make of that. Wow, Will had been alone to her thoughts for so long that she hadn't even noticed that Angus and Jazz had been carrying on a conversation for some time and now Angus was walking towards her. God, he towered over her. What was he, like seven feet tall? She felt her eyes widen slightly as he stood there, about a foot away.

She blinked and stared up at him. "What is it Angus?" she asked curiously. He shrugged and glanced back at a Jazzy who was now wearing a rather sour expression. He smiled out of the side of his mouth and folded his thick muscular arms.

"You're over stimulating th'tree. Gon try a new approach, okay? Just show us what yer good at and go fae there." He said, patting her on the head and moving back to sit next to Jazz who was now playing with the sharp stick that she had used to jab at her. She wrinkled her nose a little bit. "Oh you were wrong. Cannae convince me with a grumpy look." Wow, did she ever start sulking fast. But Will knew better than to think letting Angus win would be the end of it. There were twisted machinations that went on in Jazz's head, everybody knew that for certain. But will was contented now, because she was letting the grass get greener, repairing the damage done to different parts of the woods because of human intervention. This was what she was good at. She couldn't grow a new forest, but she could certainly maintain an existing one. She wasn't powerful enough to make a forest yet. Maybe by the time she was their age.

Of course within five minutes of making progress Jazzy was circling her like a vulture. "Don't mess up, come on. Maintain those woods. They'll hate you if you mess ---"

"JAZZY, BE NICE." Wow was Angus ever different from mythology Zeus. Generally friendly and kind and all that. Jazzy turned around and decided to make Angus' ipod jump out of his pocket and run away, which then distracted the young godboy enough to get him to run off into the woods. You could NOT separate people from their music. And now Will was alone with Jezebel Feverwick. Her heart began to pound as her chest constricted. What was she going to do to her? Something horrible Will bet. She felt that horrible feeling of foreboding that came before something that'd make her life suck for the next seven months, though she didn't know what it'd be. There was a predatory loom to Jezebel's gaze that made Will feel like a bug about to be crushed, and as she stood there, waiting for something to happen Jezebel stopped moving and frowned.

"You stopped maintaining the woods." she said harshly. Will cowered, expecting something. A strike, a magical transformation, anything. Nope. Jazz just giggled like an infant and mussed Will's hair, traipsing away presumably to follow Angus into the woods.

God was Will ever terrified of that woman. She had the suspicion that Jazzy fed off of fear through some sort of succubine ability. Will narrowed her eyes a little bit. What was it that Angus and Jazzy had said they were going to do? Teach her how to be awesome? How could she be awesome if she was afraid of her mentor. That just didn't make sense. Well, Will knew what her goal for the year was.

----

Lyle quite liked the library. The musty smell of books. The quiet murmur that pervaded but never got too high. And at the moment Lyle was sitting next to Barty Dalton, a stuffy looking young man who came off somewhat brash, and appearance wise fit Zazu to a T. But that said, Lyle quite liked Barty as well. Low maintenance, intellectual. Maybe a little socially awkward. Nose deep in _GUARDS! GUARDS!_ Lyle eventually let his book down and glanced over at Barty. "Hey…ummmm…You're supposed to be teaching me how to be a better animal friend, right? How am I supposed to do that?"

"I'm doing it right now." said Barty, not looking away from what he was reading. "There are two kinds of animal friends, ones that are mostly scenery and compliment the protagonist's presence, one that comes along and---"

CRASH!

"CAUGHT IN THE ACT! YOU'VE BEEN CAUGHT IN THE ACT! HAHA! NOW COMES THE EPIC CLIMAX AND A KARMIC DEATH!" cried a feminine voice at the far end of the library.

Lyle's gaze jerked immediately upwards in time to see a lithe figure leap from stock to stock overhead and continue, something in his grasp. "There's Byron." mused Barty disaffectedly. Apparently this sort of thing happened a lot. "It's always somebody. Although usually Byron's much more subtle. Shame, up until now he actually HAD been living up to his title as The World's Greatest Criminal Mind."

"Captain Hook?" asked Lyle, brow furrowed slightly as he heard another crash. Barty shook his head.

"Captain Hook's the world's most famous crook as the song goes. Professor Ratigan is the world's greatest criminal mind." he explained, shrugging. Lyle nodded, eyebrow raised.

"To be honest I'm not all that familiar with Disney canon between 1967 and 1989." he replied casually, keeping an eye on the top of the stocks.

"GASP!" cried the feminine voice. So that's where it went. Lyle spun around to find a thin, spritely girl with wavy brown hair and an expression of manic excitement spread across her face. She was currently sporting one of those hats of Sherlock Holmes fame standing in a triumphant pose. "Then you haven't heard of Basil of Baker Street and Doctor David Q. Dawson, OR HIS SUBSTITUTE DAWSON, CADPIG THE DALMATIAN AKA IRIS ROCHER." Lyle just sort of stared at her, eyes wide.

"Hello, Iris." said Barty, still not bothering to look up. She was quickly joined by a young man scribbling madly on a notepad with a bit of a frustrated expression. He had that sort of Stephen Fry nose that indicated that someone might have stepped on his face at one point or another. It bugged Lyle. And apparently Lyle's presence bugged the boy too, because immediately his eyes narrowed and he began to scribble furiously. Wait a second, Lyle knew this guy. This was Lamont Osborne, he was a year older than him. He'd never known he was Basil, actually he'd never known that Lamont was in his house. All he could remember of his presence was that Lamont always wore the most eclectic of clothing. Why, even today he was dressed in a bright orange fedora and a blue turtleneck with tan pants.

"Oh, hey Lamont." said Lyle pleasantly. Lamont nodded and leaned in, still scribbling madly. That was what Lamont did. Incredibly observant, he felt the need to record most of what he saw for what Lyle assumed was later reference.

"Lamont, come on! We've got a mystery to solve! Byron could have ANYTHING in that bag. I didn't see a dollar sign on it, but that doesn't seem like his style anyway. I bet it's a really really really small expensive dog of some kind, or maybe a small jar filled with everyone's hopes and dreams. MAYBE IT'S PLUTONIUM!"

Lamont raised an eyebrow and wrinkled his weird nose. "You go on ahead, Iris, I'll try to head him off at the pass." he said in his posh British accent. Iris nodded and saluted.

"YESSIR!" she exclaimed and took off.

"To be perfectly honest I'm just following her to analyze the strange cause and affect relationship that goes on between her and Byron. It's quite fascinating actually. I'm fairly certain that there's nothing stolen in that bag, and that Byron's only running because Iris started chasing him. This has to be the….seventh or eighth part of my theory that neither are mentally stable, although it doesn't take a genius to figure that out." he mused casually as he continued to scribble his notes. Lyle looked on in deep confusion.

"Ohhh…kay."

"Don't bother trying to figure it out. It's useless for the uninitiated to even attempt to ponder." And with that Lamont was off, following Iris to wherever she was chasing Byron to. Lyle looked to Barty confusedly.

"Just run with it. Like I said, there are two kinds of animal friends in the Citomis house. Scenery ones, like you and me were being up until that little interruption, and the crazy running around making noise ones that help the protagonist like Iris perceives herself to be." Barty stated with a shrug.

Lyle nodded slowly.

---

Tiff was absolutely delighted. It had been a long time since she'd had such a rapport with one of the older kids, but she really really liked Noelle Williams. Noelle, or Maid Marian, had to be one of the nicest, most chilled out girls that she had ever met. That was a surprisingly rare thing at Grimm's, more than people cared to know. And rather than go about some gruelling task to teach her how to become a better princess, Noelle had spent the day with Tiff sitting around in her room watching girly movies and pointing out why exactly a good number of the female mains sucked balls. Much better than what Tiff had imagined it was going to be. She'd sort of envisioned a day of perfecting posture with that book on the head crap, and learning the use of all eighteen or whatever spoons. But nope. Noey said she had no time for that kind of junk.

"So how many times do I have to see you before the mentor program is done?" asked Tiffany, cocking her head to the side before bringing a can of Arizona Tea to her lips. Noey shrugged.

"Have to?" she chuckled. Tiff bit her lip over a smile. "Well, I think it's a week or two, the staff weren't very specific but then again they never are. No worries though, I'm sure we can get a couple hours out of the way just fine all week." Tiff nodded as Noelle picked up the remote and ejected the DVD that had just finished. "What do you want to watch? If you don't like anything from my collection I can borrow from someone else. I'm pretty sure Heidi and Roxie have a bunch of horror movies piled up."

Tiff shrugged. "Honestly, I'm not all that hard to please, it could be just about anything." she mused casually, crossing her legs where she sat next to Noelle on the couch. Of course that was half due to the fact that she didn't want to be ANYWHERE that Heidi and Roxie called home. "But, umm, hey question. Are you supposed to measure my progress or something? Like, are we graded on this mentor thing or what?"

Noelle frowned for a moment in thought and then looked at Tiff. "You know what, I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to give you a task or something. Stupid right? What am I supposed to do, stick you in a tower and yell at a boy until he rescues you and you can doll yourself up to entice him?"

Tiff chuckled. She really didn't know how anybody anywhere could have any interest in being a fairytale princess after learning about all the crap that went along with it. But then again, nothing was as great as it seemed. Grimm's was fun and all, but there was always a downside to even the most perfect seeming fairy tale. Noelle got up and started pacing, still thinking, until she passed the blue box next to the door, full of empty bottles and her eyes lit up. "Oh I know!" she said. Oh, taking out her recycling. Yeah Tiff was cool with that. "I have something that you can pick up for me." She walked into her room, then came out with a sticky note which she stuck on Tiff's forehead. Pulling it off she looked down at it, brow furrowed.

"Pick up? What's 'codeword: awesome' supposed to mean?" she asked curiously. Noelle shrugged with a small grin.

"Oh, just some booze I want. It's safer than getting my own fake ID. All you have to do is go down to the final bathroom in the dungeons under the old stairs, get it, and then come back. Shouldn't take more than half an hour if you're quick." she said cheerfully. "I've done it a million times, it's no big deal, and if you do it I can write it down as an official mentor task thingy."

The dungeons? The DUNGEONS? Ohhh….Tiffany didn't know. She bit her lip, and eager to please her new friend she tried to hold her fear down. "Okay, sounds good." she said, choosing her words with unnecessary care. "Should I go now?"

"Yeah, go ahead, someone's been texting me for the last two hours anyway, I should probably answer." she replied with a half shrug. Tiff nodded with a smile.

"Okay then. I'll be back soon."

----

"!"

"AHHHHH! WHAT?"

Tiff was charging down the stairs of Ingraea tower with her cellphone to her ear. "I NEED YOU TO HELP ME GET THROUGH THE DUNGEONS, IN ORDER TO GET ONE OF THE MENTORY TASKS OVER AND DONE WITH I NEED TO PICK UP SOME BEER FROM A BATHROOM AND SHIT."

"Really?"

"YES"

"Reeeeaaalllly?"

"YEEESSSS! HELP ME OUT HERE!" she exclaimed, eyes narrowed as she ran out onto the main floor, knees and feet hurting, heading towards the grand staircase, and down another and down another until she got to a big thick black door set against a stone wall. The entrance to the dungeons. The mouth of the belly of the beast. Tiff gulped. "GET OFF YOUR ASS AND COME OVER ---"

"Hi."

"GAH!"

Brick showed up behind her like a million movie monsters and he nearly gave her a flippin heart attack. Eyes wide she swore in a convoluted string of what could best be described as Angrish and then smacked him in the chest. "What the holy hell is the matter with you, Brick!" Brick shrugged a little bit.

"You wanted me here fast, and you never asked where I was. I was just in the Citomis dorms---"

"I DON'T CARE, JESUS FUCK, JUST DON'T DO THAT AGAIN!" She implored. Brick nodded vigorously.

"Sorry."

Tiff rubbed her temples and sighed, calming down. "It's okay, let's just go down there, get what I need, get out. You're essentially gonna have to be my passport and tour guide." Tiff had never been to the dungeons before, and she knew next to nothing about it. But she knew the deeper you went, the bigger and scarier villains you'd find, because that was where the senior dorms were, and Tiffany didn't want to mess with ANY of those people. Brick opened the door and made the 'after you' gesture and then sent Tiffany in, following behind.

It was sort of dark down there. Lit by flaming lamps hanging from the ceiling as they descended down the stone stairs to the floor level. It wasn't really messy, or even that damp or dingy, or even dark. But it was unsettling. Tiffany wasn't sure why, but she could just feel something down there. Something unpleasant. Brick threw his arm around her shoulder and gave her a squeeze. "Oh come on, like these people'd hurt you. They're in enough trouble already." Weirdly sound advice coming from Brick. A couple lights flickered, casting shadows that could be easily mistaken for ghosts. They passed a warm and inviting burst of light, which Tiff recognized as the kitchen. She could hear the dull murmur of talking coming from in there. And for a moment she wanted to just go in there and beg for booze. But she didn't know Noelle's type. Dammit. "It's really nice in there. We should get a cinnamon bun or something before we head back."

Big…strong feminist warrior. That was what she had to be. She had to be Buffy. She had to avoid taking their shit. She had to be tough. So she smiled bravely up at Brick. Noelle didn't know this was scary. She was an older kid, she didn't have to deal with being low on the pecking order. This actually WAS a task. Oh, she wasn't sure what to feel about this. She could pussy out now. She COULD. But no. No that'd be the coward's way out. AND TIFFANY WAS NO COWARD DAMMIT.

"Heeeeeyyyyy Brickers, guess who owes me money." Eep.

She was tall, and dark haired, with a figure that could kill, and just such a knowing and condescending smirk. The spark of malice in her eyes was nigh unquestionable, though the cut of her top made one's eyes draw to other things. Ruby red lips parted into a devil's grin. Brick smiled at her obliviously, but Tiffany swore she could feel a rumble in his chest that betrayed that just by her close proximity to him. "Oh hey Daphne. Yeah, how much was that. Five bucks?" he asked cheerfully.

"Seven now. A quarter's interest for the amount of days between return of my cash." Brick nodded and handed it over, as that seemed to be the only non-crazy thing to do. Daphne nodded satisfied, her lioness presence not done yet though. "Who's your little friend, Brick. Looks awfully lost. Get swept up in a windstorm, Dorothy?"

Tiff's eyes bugged and she attempted to speak, but nothing happened. Daphne smirked and leaned in, flicking her nose with a black fingernail. Tiffany immediately shoved a hand over her mouth to keep from crying out, causing more chuckling from Daphne, who raised her finger like a gun and blew smoke off the "barrel", green and purple smoke actually expelling from between her lips. "Careful, the safety's off." And without another word she traipsed off past them, heading up the stairs and out of sight. When she was gone Brick shuddered.

"God, tons of villains in this house and she's the only one who really gives me the willies." he mused quietly. Tiff looked up at him uneasily.

"Why's that?" she asked cautiously as they resumed walking, turning a corner to get to a hallway decorated darkly. Ornate gothic motif in full swing. Two grand doors stood there, announcing that these were the Elithos dorms. Brick opened the doors and she found herself in their common room.

"Because she's a sociopath. I kept getting it wrong so I looked it up. She doesn't feel anything for anyone at all, and has no sense of social responsibility. She's completely capable of murder." he said biting his lip. "And she can unlock doors and stuff with her magic. It's a good thing she's graduating next year, I won't have to lose anymore sleep over it."

Tiff's eyes were wide. She wanted to leave. She just KNEW Daphne was the tip of the ice berg. There was probably so many more varieties of bad down there. And then she noticed that they weren't alone. There was a small gathering by the fireplace who had turned to look at them.

"Hello Brick, Brick's friend." said the young man who was obviously their leader. He sat there in a large armchair, shoulder length dark brown hair. He spoke in the accent of the stereotypical British sophisticate in a droll and uninterested but wholly polite tone. And he was dressed like he meant business. Tiffany wasn't that much of a fashionista but she knew her expensive labels, and she could swear she'd seen those clothes in Armani Exchange at one point or another. He was flanked by three other people. Another boy with short blonde hair wearing a t-shirt and jeans, a short tomboyish looking girl seated at his side with a pad of paper, and a girl with long wavy locks and a bit of a manic smirk.

"Afternoon Nick." After leaving this little gathering Brick would inform Tiffany that this was Nick Jamesson, or Captain Hook, runner of a small mafia that pervaded throughout the school. The girl by his side was Robbie Garcia, or one of the few transgendered spirits in the school. The other boy was Lewis Maguire, or Lock, one of the Oogie Boogie kids, and the girl was Kyree Kensington, Barrell. Tiffany asked where Shock was. Brick had no idea.

"I don't believe I've had the pleasure, Miss…" Nick began. He was quite handsome, that Tiffany could definitely say. She was sort of flustered by his presence, and being directly addressed.

"Clearwater. Tiffany Clearwater. It's nice to meet you Nick."

"Charmed."

"Say Nick, do you know if the Bathroom's still open for business?" asked Brick curiously. Nick looked displeased, but generally unmoved despite this.

"Do I look like a secretary?"

"Point taken, see you later Nick." Brick grabbed Tiff's arm and then dragged her off through the common room and opened another set of doors down another hallway, lined with doors with numbers. She could hear music coming from some rooms, ramblings from other, some places laughing, but it all amalgamed into a symphony of discomfort that only got worse as they came to a darkened end of the hallway. There was a space there, a room with the door pulled off, and a set of old stairs going to nowhere above it. "Well, there you are." Tiffany swallowed hard and traipsed towards the door cautiously, standing in the doorway. She stepped back for a moment, the tightness of anxiety rising in her chest making her questioning what would go down. She took another step back and looked over at Brick unsurely. But no, if Noelle could do this without a LICK of fear, then Tiffany could get through this. She definitely could. It wasn't like Noelle was setting her up for some sort of ---

"You know what really gets on my nerves? Indecisive people." She was abruptly derailed from her train of thought as she drifted just slightly through the door. "There's an unbelievable rudeness to people who can't seem to figure whether or not they want to go somewhere or not. I mean, really -" the click of a lighter from within "-were you fucking raised in a barn?"

Oh god…Tiffany had heard this before. SHE KNEW EXACTLY WHERE SHE'D HEARD THIS BEFORE. And before her feet could stop herself she had rounded the small turn into the bathroom and found herself in a room illuminated by a series of purple lights and dull, barely lit fluorescents above. A tall, thin black pedestal sat in the centre of the room, with a bowl that looked like it was made of jagged glass perched atop it. And perched atop what at one time had been a sink station, now bone dry was…

A boy. What the fuck was this? A tall, bone thin, willowy young man a couple years her senior. A goth boy no less. Decked out in all black tight fitting clothing. He looked like a streetwalking heroin addict. A lit cigarette hung from his lips. He watched her with wild icy blue eyes raccooned up with eyeliner. "Something I can help you with, cupcake?" he asked sort of mockingly.

"Ah…I…I uhhhhh." Without being able to summon the words she whipped out the stick note, which he snatched from her hands and examined. He looked back at her, cocking his head to the side.

"You a friend of Noey's, Captain Tongue-tied?" he asked eyes narrowed vaguely. Tiffany nodded. "And she trusted you to collect her product."

"Yuh-yes she did Ur-" Her eyes bugged and she covered her mouth. He let out a quick, disbelieving laugh. He looked at her with a serious expression of awed amusement.

"Were you just going to call me Ursula?" he asked through a series of chortles that made him have to remove his cigarette that he had been previously talking around. Flagrantly embarrassed Tiffany dropped her gaze. He smacked her lightly on the forehead with the back of his hand in a flicking motion. Okay it wasn't much meant to hurt so much as getting her looked back at him. He stuck his hand out with a disbelieving smirk which she took and shook fearfully. "Mort Octopian, what's up." And then he let go. Well his hand wasn't that clammy, and he didn't smell as bad as he looked like he would.

"Octopian?" He wrinkled his nose at her.

"I'm from Eastern Europe if you must know." Mort retorted snidely.

"You don't have an accent."

"Well if you lived with Americans for seven years you wouldn't either." He replied striding away to a mirror where for a moment he checked his makeup and then he kicked a lever on the wall beside it and the mirror split in half revealing what appeared to be a cabinet out of a liquor store, refrigerating unit and everything. He pulled out two cases of some sort of fruity cooler drink and handed them to her. "Noey gets this shit for free. Because she's sane, unlike the rest of your damn house. Don't bother denying being in Ingraea I can practically smell it on you."

Wow. Noelle was friends with THIS guy? How the hell did that work? Tiff thought it best she didn't ask because there was a level of intimidation going on there was almost suffocating her. She wasn't really as afraid as she'd been around Daphne but he made her uneasy. He seemed like the sort of guy who'd sneak up behind you and then harvest your kidneys for beer money. She guessed she'd ask Noelle about it later. She immediately started backing out as soon as they were within her grasp. He rolled his eyes. "What do you need me to ask you nicely to beat it? Fuck off!" And she didn't need to be told twice. Tiffany darted out of the bathroom-grotto, running past Brick and out through the common room.

Ushered out of the dungeon by Brick she turned around to hug him. "I owe you, seriously." Brick shrugged.

"Eh, you can make it up to me in candy and bottle rockets." he said cheerfully. "That'd be SWEET!"

Smiling tiredly Tiffany made her way back up to Noelle's room and brought the liquor in, subsequently collapsing on the bed. She hadn't stopped once, lest she be caught with liquor by a teacher or a no good snitch. "Awww, see, that wasn't so bad. You were barely gone half an hour. Mortie didn't scare you did he?"

"Does the pope shit in the woods?"

"I don't think that's how it goes."

"Whatever I'm tired." Tiff moaned, rubbing her eyes. "And do I get like…a reward outside of being counted towards work with the mentor program or something?"

"Uhhh…You can have some of the coolers…and a gold star…and my gratitude?"

Tiffany made a wild gesture for the booze.


	4. SAVAGES

OMFG NEW CHAPTER. AND IT'S HAPPENING QUICKER THIS there's auxiliary art that I've done. Scrawly little sketches some of which are better than others, but nonetheless, should give you guys an idea of how I imagine the peeps in this story.

WE'RE FATED TO PRETEND CHAPTER FOUR: SAVAGES

The Elithos dorms were always quiet in the space of time between about one AM and six, not to say that people weren't up. And they were people. There was something that the other students of Grimm's forgot about, and it was that the villains were more than villains, they were also teenagers, just like them. Currently some of the most reputedly villainous characters in the Disney canon, and three sidekicks, were engaging in the entirely human teenage habit of sitting in a big circle and passing a doobie around.

"So you coming to fight club this week, Brickers?" asked Dusty, ruffling his henchman's hair and yawning, crossing his legs where he sat in a large arm chair. Brick was sitting on a stool by the chair, currently inhaling. His gaze turned up towards Dusty, eyebrows raised.

"Fight Club?" he said in a strained voice before exhaling.

Mort's fist shot sideways from where he was reclined on an ottoman to smack Dusty's impressive, vanity-driven bicep. "Aren't you not supposed to talk about Fight Club? Like…that's a rule, right?" he mused, glancing at him through a tousled mess of purple and black hair that Zoe Tawny, otherwise known as Queen Grimhilde of Snow White fame was currently braiding absentmindedly.

"Yeah, true. Angus'll have my ass for saying that." he mused. The congregation of villains around the circle looked up in surprise. Angus didn't seem the type to start an ass-beating completion.

"Or Leo, or Kirill, or any other one of those delightful alpha male types." mused Nick dryly. Robbie chuckled. Oh Ms. Smee, always there to support your Captain's zingers. A few of them smiled wryly. Why the hell was Nick there anyway? Then again they were sort of like a bunch of islands that had come together to hang out. Nick and Byron were roommates who apparently got along rather well, Robbie obviously went everywhere that Nick did out of a strange romantic unreciprocated devotion. Mort and Dusty hung out, so did Mort and Zoe, but it was rare that Mort and Dusty and Zoe hung out. Dusty had brought Brick along because he'd found him in the showers earlier and invited him along. Brick had agreed to come because hell, hanging out with older kids, and that was cool. He also got to smoke pot for the first time. Speaking of, Byron took the joint from Brick and shrugged.

"Does Kirill even count as an alpha male? He has all the traits, but I don't think him social enough to count." He drawled in his thick Louisiana tongue. That was the interesting thing about spirits, they didn't always show in their countries of origin. A presence in the doorframe of the common room caused all their heads to turn. Dark haired, serious faced, sophisticated, oddly James Dean-ish Shere Khan stood there, looking at all of them in his permanently unimpressed fashion. A lot of them hated him for that. But magic or no, none of the other students felt quite comfortable going up against him. There was a quality to Kirill that inspired fear whether they liked it or not.

"A ringing endorsement, Aubrey, thank you." he uttered flatly in a Russian accent that they had all grown used to. And then he was gone, off to the Eighth year dorms. A collective shudder ran through the group. The way Kir inspired fear and compliance was different than Daphne in that none of them felt like they had another option. Kir owning the house was sort of thrust upon them probably because he'd been terrifying since first year. Daphne, well, other than being a sociopath was nothing all that special in any of their eyes. Not that she wasn't terrifying as well. Kirill was perfectly sane, and also capable of being close to someone, as his relationship with Heidi could tell anybody, and so that made him human. His fear and dominance came with humanity. Daphne was just some angry entity that Robbie had dubbed Dragoncrotch, and as such she earned less respect for lacking a sense of being real.

"Ugh, well that was jarring." mused Zoe, nose wrinkling as she pushed a strand of long black hair behind her ear. "Just think what it'll be like when he graduates." Mort smirked where he sat as she played with his hair.

"Mmmm, yes. You'll all be at my mercy." he mused with a foul smirk. Zoe smacked him upside the head. It was true though, with Kir and Daphne out of the way Mort would be the Big Bad. He visibly looked forward to it. When the smirk didn't go away again she hit him harder. "Owww, okay fine.""Tch, whatever. So are you going to fight club, Brick?" asked Dusty, who very much enjoyed monopolizing conversation. Wonder why. Brick shrugged and folded his arms. He hadn't even known like something like that existed outside of the movies. If he fought with other guys then he might get hurt, and Brick quite liked his face. Dusty could empathize with that right? Brick scratched his pronounced jaw and looked pensive. "Oh come on it's not all that bad."

"I don't know…Would somebody actually like seriously fuck me up?" he mused timidly. Brick was so not evil henchman material. A lot of the villains thought he'd been hanging around with Citomis kids for too long. But the only Citomis Brick hung out with was Lyle. He mostly hung around with Ingraea and Vesperium and other henchmen. But a lot of the villains thought he was all kinds of a pussy. Maybe this would be the best possible chance to prove himself. He withdrew into himself a little bit. Dusty pat his head.

"Hey, nobody'll hold it against you if you don't go, man." he said. Brick smiled up at him weakly. He really envied these guys for knowing who they were and owning it. "You know, except your dick."

There was a casual chortle amongst the other villains. You know, except Nick. Very little made him laugh.

What Brick didn't quite understand was that none of the other villains REALLY knew who they were. They were self-aware, well some of them were, but being that they were teenagers that was a very limited self-awareness. Like, in ten years time Dusty would probably kick himself for coming off as an utter douche in his adolescence, assuming he grew as a person at all. Nick would learn not to micromanage like a miniature mob boss, and also to remove the stick from his ass at least half way. Daphne would probably learn to develop some semblance of human emotion through some variety of therapy. Mort would learn that nobody took anybody with purple hair seriously, and that skinny jeans made him look like he had a vagina. By the time she was twenty five Zoe would be a model, and she would probably not have to learn anything ever again. Models learning things was largely frowned upon. So, you know, she got off sort of free on that one.  
Of course they were still in their adolescence, so none of that mattered.

"Yeah, you know what, I'll go." Brick didn't want to look like a pussy in front of his friends.

"YEAH! WAY TO NOT BITCH OUT BUDDY!" cheered Dusty. A couple of them chuckled.

"Bitch out, pussy. You know it wouldn't hurt you guys to maybe consider a non-misogynist way of talking down to one another. Maybe let some ladies into fight club or something. Not that I'd want to go but still." Zoe mused, sliding down onto the ottoman from where she'd previously sat on the top bit to push Mort out of the way.

"Oh give it a rest, Zoe. You know that if we did that it'd just be full of a bunch of rebel princess types trying to 'prove' themselves constantly. Do you really think any of us want to sit through a three hour anti-feminist quote unquote feminist diatribe from Roxanne Rose after Leo clocks her in the face and she tries her hardest not to cry because fight club isn't what she thought it'd be?" Dusty mused wrinkling his nose. A couple of the other guys nodded.

"Not to say that you ladies can't take a punch. Bet Jazz Feverwick could." Ray mused nodding a little from where he sat leaning up against a fireplace that crackled bright blue and menacing. "Noelle too, Heidi definitely, Lilly Llyr, you know Eillonwy? Her too probably. And there's more but I can't remember their names."

"Bet Will could." Brick piped up at them. They all turned and sort of looked at him.

"Who?" asked Robbie, eyebrow raised as she readjusted her long black and white striped sweater.

"You know…Will…my age, Vesperium?" he asked curiously. They all just sort of looked at him again.

"Gotta understand, Brick, we don't really keep tabs on people your age outside of this house." Ray pointed out to him.

"Unless, you know, we hate them." Mort added. Ray nodded.

"Yeah, there's that."

"Oh speaking of which I swear to fucking God that I was going to strangle Adara Corrigan earlier today. Bitch has some fucked up sense of entitlement …" mused Zoe.

Holy shit, Brick was at fight club. Brick was at fight club and he was scared completely shitless. He looked at the circle of men around him, feeling panic in his chest. There was a dull roar coming from the crowd. None of them were wearing shirts or shoes. For a second Brick considered that it was very very gay. And then a fist connected with his face.

Apparently it was a widely known fact that Leo Maddox was like SUPER into Fight Club. Brick wasn't surprised, and really, who would be? Tiff maybe? Brick may not have been very smart, but he was insightful and he could tell that Tiff looked at that guy with complete bias. Maybe it was some sort of spiritual connection, like the one that he had with Dusty. Either way, he was sort of completely different from how she saw him. Of course the bastard didn't really talk all that much to people he didn't consider friends so it wasn't hard to understand why she would piece shit together. But this guy was aggressive as all hell, was known to shove earlier year students in garbage cans only to kick them down flights of stairs, looked like he was constantly itching for a fight, and was totally and completely living with some anger management issues. Brick didn't know why. Probably some underlying frustration about something or other. And he was relishing beating the shit out of Brick as he thought all of this.  
Brick yelped as he tried to bring himself to his feet and he rushed towards him, punching him in the gut. God fucking damn, he flexed. "Hah, sorry to disappoint, dickface." he grunted as he kneed Brick in the chest. Brick gasped for breath and swung a wild haymaker. Damn, it connected with Leo's eye. Brick was proud of himself. He could hear Dusty cheering in the background. He brightened up just a little bit, and proceeded to head butt Leo. Wow. Leo was short. Well, not SHORT, probably just under six feet. Shorter than Brick. Either way, that only seemed to piss him off more. Brick was going to have to step this up. He jumped on Leo, wrapping his legs around his waist and socked him in the throat.

"YEAH, HOW DO YOU LIKE THA-AAAAHHHH" Leo'd grabbed Brick under his arms, ripped him from his waist and smacked him down over his shoulder only to stomp on his back. The cool floor wasn't exactly as welcoming as he'd thought it might be against the combined body heat of about forty angry teenage boys.  
Leo stopped stomping on Brick and eventually let his foot come to a rest on top of his head, smirking proudly down at the beaten fifth year. "I think we're done here." A chorus of cheers sounded out as Leo searched around for a water bottle, snatching one from the crowd. "OKAY WHO'S NEXT?"  
Brick pulled himself to the back of the room and sat against the wall, huffing and trying to regain his composure.

"Wow you got your ass handed to you." Brick looked up. Lyle was standing there, scrawny as all hell looking without a shirt. He smiled weakly next to Brick and sat down next to him."What the hell are you doing here?" he asked through a swollen cheek. Lyle shrugged and crossed his legs.

"I could ask you the same thing. And also why're you staying here?" he countered. Brick rested the back of his head against the wall, feeling around for his shirt and using it as a bandage to hold against his mouth."Morf ud ee'd eel muh ufter -" he removed the shirt. "Mort said he'd heal me after he was done fighting.""Well what about Will? I could call her, I have my phone." he offered, hugging his legs to his chest. "Hmmm, well, I dunno, she's good at magic right?""Yeah of course Brick. She's real good." he said firmly. "Besides, Mort looks busy."

Apparently Leo had left the ring and Mort was having a good time laying into Adelaide Rigby or Shock, both of whom were quite eager to prove their manliness. Mort for the sake of his spirit, Adelaide for the sake of his name. They looked in time to see Mort drive his elbow into Addy's eye whilst looking very much like a junkie who'd been deprived of a hit. They shuddered and Lyle helped Brick wander off, though Brick was about twice his size so it was just a little awkward. A couple guys snerked at the two of them heading off muttering things like 'fags' and all that fun stuff.

Brick had seriously lost track of time since getting into the ring. It had to be 2:30 in the morning by then and so when they eventually met up with Will they found a very disgruntled looking tree spirit who felt the need to sit them down and lecture them about the dangers of fight club.

"But it's so MANLY." Brick whined as Will jabbed him in the cheek and healed his face."There's nothing manly about letting someone two years older than you beat the fuck out of you. Even if he IS smaller than you." she muttered. "At least leave some kind of war wound." he pleaded "I actually did really well for my first time.""It's true, he totally did.""Tch, villains, I'll never understand you guys." she muttered shaking her head and finishing up on Brick's back. "You're always so eager to make a mess out of everything.""Leo's the one who beat me up. He's not a villain.""Yeah, Will, I think you're underestimating just how many men are down there at that thing." Lyle mused.

"Hell, I was there, what does that say."Will pulled a face and then shook her head. "That is actually retarded I don't know what the matter is with you guy-"

ZIIIIINNNGGGGGGG.

There was a white flash. The three of them stood bewildered in the hallway.

"What the hell was that?" Will asked, looking around. She frowned, looking outside for something through a window. Her gaze returned to the two of them. "Did you guys notice that."

"Of course." said Lyle frowning, he wrinkled his nose a little bit and looked up at the lights. There was nothing wrong with that. "Do you think there was a power surge or something?"

"No, everything here's run on magic. That'd be impossible."

"Maybe Mort and Leo tongue kissed and broke the universe." Brick muttered. They stared at him and shuddered. "Sorry."

"But this isn't right. Some spell probably went wrong and scared the hell out of everybody. I wouldn't give it much more thought." Will mused, cocking her head to the side, looking up at the ceiling as if the answer might be somewhere written there.

"Maybe something from the Fight Club spilled over into the hallway outside the room and people got violent with magic. Maybe Angus had to break it off and we were just feeling some sort of…after effect." Lyle postulated.

"Or a shockwave." Brick added. "Either way, I'm pretty tired. I think I'm gonna head to bed."

"You don't need help getting there?" asked Will vaguely.

"No, no I'm fine." he replied, heading off down the steps. Lyle and Will exchanged glances.

"I'm gonna follow him." he said firmly.

"Yeah, that's probably for the best." she mused, folding her arms.


	5. UNFORTUNATE PT 1

GOD I'VE WANTED TO DO THIS FOR A WHILE, I'M NOT GONNA LIE.

Thanks so much for your supportive reviews guys, I really like this idea.

**WE'RE FATED TO PRETEND CHAPTER 5: UNFORTUNATE PART ONE**

She actually wanted to be with him. HIM of all people. He didn't know WHY exactly, there was nothing all that remarkable about him, but there was everything remarkable about her. And how she knew about his opinions on her matter he'd never know, but he was really really happy. Now she could know everything that he had ever -

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP. Lyle tried to roll over and hit the button. It was sort of hard when you didn't have a hand. His eyes widened. There was a gray stump. With a hoof thing. OH GOD. WHAT THE HELL WERE THOSE CALLED? His heart started pounding as he pulled himself up in time to see his reflection in the glass of the window by his bed.

A huge trumpeting sound of fear emerged from his face. "WHAT THE FUCK." Lyle was an elephant. Lyle was a baby elephant. His gaze ventured wildly to his now woken roommates who were having similar reactions. One was an albatross, the other, on the other hand, had shot up a foot, become muscular and native much to his surprise as he'd been a scrawny black kid before, the facial features and same voice were the only indication that it was him.

"WHAT-"

"-THE-"

"-FUCK-"

Lyle didn't have time to sit there and try to figure it out. The older kids would know. OF COURSE THEY WOULD.

The common room was no better. There was a sea of chaos going on, punctuated occasionally by pointing and laughing at what everyone had become. All manner of sidekicks and ordinary protagonists were running around the room chattering and screaming at each other for some sort of understanding. Lyle, not thinking all that clearly, only contributed to the madness.

"DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?" he wailed, only to find a small blue bird perch on his head and bend over to look him in the eyes.

"Nope, nobody does, but some of the other kids have suggested we not run wild through the school and instead try to contact a teacher." said Barty with a shrug of his wings, visibly only calm through an extremely strained devotion to the decorum which he presented to the rest of the school.

"Well…that seems sensible." Lyle murmured panicked. There was nothing wonderful about turning into an animal. Furries had it ALLLLL WRONG. He shuddered, a small trumpet coming from his trunk in discomfort. "But what if the teachers don't know what to do? What if we're stuck like this? What will our parents say?"

"As if I know Lyle, and let's not think of that shall we? Everyone's already worried enough." Barty urged, his feathers ruffling somewhat. "Besides, I can one up you. I have NO idea where my genitals are." Lyle's eyes widened and he almost jerked his head around so he could look Barty in the eye before realizing that made no sense. It didn't matter anyway thanks to some rogue trunk smacking the poor little bird and knocking him off.

"Sorry Barty." Lyle muttered, sighing. Barty pulled himself together and looked around.

"You know what's really baffling me?" he mused as he looked around at the different sights of the Citomis common room. Thom Presley was currently in search of Betty "Pumbaa" Parkman, Cameron Penn was staring at himself in the mirror wondering how he could explain going from Native to Arab to his parents. Next to him Adara was licking a white furry cat paw and looking frustrated, quite unable to stop apparently. Liz McKay or Perdita was currently rounding up all of her puppies, one of which had just gone barrelling into Lyle's leg. The thought seemed as if it might continue, but fell short.

"OH MY GOD AN ELEPHANT!" Cried a very puppy Iris. She bounced lightly on her forelegs and wagged her tail at the sight of him. Perched atop her was a currently naked mouse Lamont Doyle, looking distinctly more anthropomorphic than the other animals, if only because Basil was presented as such. "OH! You're the boy with the glasses who hangs around with a different friend from each house. HI I'M IRIS. WE MET ONCE!"

"Yeah…yeah I remember you. Hi Iris." said Lyle weakly. Iris didn't seem bothered in the least.

"I see you're quite shaken." said Lamont, scratching what appeared to be a pencil splinter up against a tiny piece of sticky note. "Your sweating and quickened heartbeat indicate stress, clearly, but there appears to be a guilty quality in your eyes. Do you happen to know anything about this, Lyle?"

Lyle thought for a moment. "I don't know where that kind of guilt would come from. But umm…ACTUALLY." his eyes widened. "Last night in the early morning me and my friends Brick and Will were in the first floor hallway and there was this bright white light and a ripping noise and we didn't know what it was. Do you think that might have caused anything?"

Lamont made a face, and gave Lyle a long hard stare. "It's possible yes." he mused frowning. He scribbled on the notepad a little more. "You're officially a witness Mr….errmmm."

"Decklen" Lyle offered.

". If you would be so kind as to come along with me and Iris." Lyle thought about it and shrugged.

"Well, alright." he replied. "It's better than being stuck here." He nodded a little and then looked down at Barty. "You coming?"

Barty shook his head. "No, no, I'd best stay here. But I'll try to find you if I learn anything." he stated nodding and then flying off to the top of a bookshelf.

And with that Lamont, Iris, and Lyle headed out the door of the Citomis dormitory, which turned out to be a mite difficult with two of them not having thumbs and the other being too small to work the door. Nonetheless they eventually got it open with the help of someone else and were on their way. "You don't happen to know where I might find pants appropriate for my size, do you Lyle?" Lyle shook his head.  
…

"GUYS…GUYS I NEED SOME HELP HERE." Will was in utter disarray. Her eyes wide she sat on the couch, arms folded, a pained expression on her face.

"CAN THIS WAIT FOR A TIME THAT I'M NOT ORANGE?" Called Angus from his room. He'd refused to leave. Angus was known for being extremely afraid of his divine influences getting the better of him. It was why he was celibate, and why he thought it best that he not be around to hurt anybody. Which Will could definitely respect, but it wasn't helping her at all.

"BUT THERE'RE BIRDS NESTING IN MY HAIR." It was true. Two owls had been the first to appear, now there were little bluebirds and the like. There were branches growing out of her head. She now stood at about nine feet tall, had wooden skin, and was practically hidden by a canopy of long streams of willow. Her entire body was green and her eyes entirely black. Needless to say Will was not exactly a happy fifteen year old at the moment. Some people might have found the birds funny, but the whole of the Vesperium house was freaking out too horribly to notice. Jazz was in hysterics over being ugly, and for the first time in forever not being able to change herself back to normal. She was lucky she'd been able to work herself into Madam Mim's pretty form, but she was complaining extensively about a pointy nose, and seemed to have forgotten that everyone else was suffering as well. There was stray Pig running around in circles in silence with a pained look on her face. Brent Yates was chasing his shadow around the room with a needle and thread, a frantic Lucy Cisk had somehow ended up trapped in an overturned glass and was jingling with all her might for help.

Will got up and stepped across the room and removed the cup. She got a thankful look, and the fairy flew off to go hide somewhere where she wouldn't have to deal with this shit. Will wished she could do that. More weight showed up on her head, and she couldn't see where it was coming from until it disappeared and landed on the dresser in front of her. Trista Estelle, the Cheshire cat. "Nice birds. Did you name them?" she asked curiously, cocking her head to the side only to have it roll of. Will reached down to get it and hand it back to her. "I keep losing it! This isn't good!"

Will groaned. "Tell me about it." she muttered. "I need to get out of here, I think I might root to the floor if I don't keep moving." Trista looked up at her in vague excite at the idea.

"Can I come? I want to see what the other houses are up to." she said eagerly. Will shrugged and gestured for her to follow. Trista immediately hopped up onto her shoulders. And they were off.

"AAARRGHHHHHHHH! AHHHHAAAAARRRGHHHHHH! AAAAAAAARRRGGHHHHH!" This had been going on since Zoe had woken up. Not surprising. Most of the other Elithos were following suit. "MY HAIR! MY HAIR IS GONE! WHY IS MY HAIR GONE?" she'd wail on end, lying on the couch on the brink of tears. "IT DIDN'T EVEN FALL OUT IT JUST DISAPPEARED!"

"CAN SOMEBODY CONJURE ME SOME PANTS?" Implored Byron from where he stood atop a coffee table, his tiny rat body staring up at the rest of them. A passing Daphne rolled her eyes and gestured wildly in his direction, rendering him clothed to his preference. "THANK YOU." She hissed at him and his eyes bugged. Daphne was green. She was green and she was bald and she looked positively MURDEROUS.

"When I find out who did this I'll…I'LLL…" She couldn't seem to find a response, but her hands were shaking and her eyes were wide and manic. Green smoke was streaming from her nose. She joined in with Zoe's horror scream for a moment only to become a dragon and curl up, shaking with fury.

Brick was three and a half feet tall. AND HE WAS PISSED. He had no way of channelling his anger. He stared up at Dusty who was spending all of his time muttering to himself in the only language he could communicate in: French. FRENCH. Brick couldn't speak French! He couldn't figure the past dirigibles or whatever the fuck they were called. And Brick's nose was too big for his tastes as well. At least he wasn't fat. Brick was very happy he wasn't fat. Of course he was shaken from these thoughts just in time to be hopped on by a child dressed like a devil.

"HAH. LOOKIT THE MIDGET! HEY NICK C'MERE AND LOOKIT THE MIDGET." The kid laughed an incredibly horrifying laugh that didn't hide any maliciousness that might be lurking behind any ordinary laugh.

"IAN GET BACK HERE!" Roared Nick, now minus a hand in place of a hook. "AND WOULD EVERYBODY FUCKING WELL STOP SHOUTING." Nick never shouted. This was not good. This was actually beyond horrifying. People in the Elithos house were actually without an ability to calm down apparently, but with just enough focus to look like they were at each other's throats. Of course Nick's threats did nothing as he yanked the child from Brick's person. Ian giggled and promptly ran through Nick's legs into the dorms, presumably to wake everyone not yet roused by all the shouting. Of course he came rocketing out five seconds later at the sound of a roar.

"NIIICK! NIIIIICK THERE'S A TIGER IN THE HALLWAY! A TIGER!" he cried out in horror, promptly hiding behind Nick's legs. And true to Ian's words a very irritated Kirill took two glances at the scene unfolding before him, narrowed his eyes and growled.

"And thus the asylum shows its true colours." he muttered darkly and yet again, Kirill disappeared.

"I really hate it when he does that. It never helps." Byron muttered absentmindedly from the table. "Haughty prick." The rat wrinkled his nose and then covered his ears. There was still an unhealthy roar of shouts going on, and he for one was not enjoying them. Brick bit his lip.

"I think I'm going to go find my friends…Or at least somebody who knows what's going on."

Brick ventured uncertainly out of the dormitories and began to search for his friends, finding it quite difficult at his height. He found the front hall deserted, and his brow furrowed. "HELLO? HELLOOOO?" Nobody. Apparently everyone was just staying in their dorm rooms or something similar. Maybe in Ingraea Tower they'd have some sort of clue about what was happening?  
…

They did not. "I'M BLONDE. I'M BLOOONNDDDEEE, DOES ANYBODY HAVE ANY IDEA ABOUT HOW HORRIBLE THAT IS? I'M A STUPID ASS BLONDE. NOBODY WILL EVER TAKE ME SERIOUSLY!" screeched Roxie staring at herself in the mirror. Leila McKinney looked livid, face contorting in rage, her own blonde tresses apparently of no consequence.

"Roxie, I have news for you. NOBODY TAKES YOU SERIOUSLY. MAYBE WORK ON THAT WHOLE SELF-IMPORTANT MOODY BITCH THING, THAT MIG….Oh fuck." And she was out like a light on the floor, snoring up a storm. Brick was taken aback as he stood there, door open a smidge. He didn't really know Leila, but he'd never seen her yell.

"HELLO? HAS ANYBODY SEEN TIFFANY CLEARWATER?" called Brick.

"They can't understand you." said Heidi as she stepped out of her dormitory, everybody stopping for a split second to see the huge Bengal tiger behind her. "The only hear French." Brick stared at her jaw dropped.

"Are you serious? But I was just with Dusty and he was speaking French but I didn't understand him." Brick finally replied after processing that.

"Well, no, because - GAH!" She was interrupted by Benji barrelling out the door, presumably to look for Thom. "-Because you heard English and understood it first, and probably recognized that the French was different, but didn't listen enough to make sense of it." she reasoned. Brick stared at her blankly, unsure if any of that made sense to him. But he'd just leave it at that. He understood that a lot of people understood things better than him.

"Ummm…have you seen Tiffany Clearwater, then Heidi?" asked Brick. Heidi shook her head.

"Nope, haven't. Actually come to think of it all of the Mer-Spirits are gone. Check the lake maybe?"

Brick stared at her for a moment. "THAT'S A REALLY GOOD IDEA." And Brick turned tail and hoofed it for the outside.

"Might need a helmet, that one." Kir acknowledged drolly. Heidi nodded and sighed.  
…

Tiffany found herself awakening as she might on occasion, in the lake. The only difference it seemed was that she did not recall going to bed in the lake. Understandably, she found herself with a distinct gap in memory between getting in bed the night before and finding herself in the lake. She yawned lightly and stretched, looking around blearily. Stranger things had happened. Of course she didn't tend to wake up with an olive green tail. That was new. The solid ten seconds of high pitched screaming was new too. But it did help her out a little.

"Oh my god someone else is here." Spencer Readding, also sporting a green fin but of a more emeraldy variety. Her red hair floated around her face and she pushed it away as she got close to Tiffany.

"It's you Tiff. I thought I was the only one down here. Thought it was a prank or something." she confessed, looking down at herself. Complete with seashell bra it seemed.

"Well, what the hell. Why are we down here, and why are we fish below the waist!" exclaimed Tiff worriedly, getting up and moving next to Spencer who bit her lip.

"Some spell gone awry maybe? OR HORRIBLY RIGHT." Spencer's eyes widened and she looked around in horror, apparently scaring herself. Tiffany bought into it. They clung to each other in apparent apprehension, looking around worriedly for wherever danger might come from. They were, because of this, unnecessarily startled by shouting from a few fathoms below, on a farther end of the lake.

"MY DICK. MY. DICK. IS. MISSING, CARRIE. NO I WILL NOT CALM DOWN." Leo.

They both torpedoed in the direction of the furious cries of mourning for a vanishing penis. They found Leo, sour as ever, wedged between two large rocks and glaring from out of the formation at red tailed red brad Carrie Vahn otherwise known as Arista. The other mer sisters watched with vague worry from a distance. "YOU KNOW YOU COULD HELP A LITTLE." Carrie snapped at the other girls who shrunk under the wrath of her normally sunny disposition. Her gaze flickered up to Spencer and Tiffany. "Hey." she said through a grimace. Tiff and Spence exchanged looks.

"So do you guys…"

"WE DON'T" snapped Leo.

"And we don't know what's going on at the castle-"

"NO, OF COURSE WE FUCKING DON'T" once again.

Spencer frowned for a moment and folded his arms. "Well I think we all know who's responsible then. I mean, who's the most likely candidate." she said matter-of-factly. "I mean, really, who else would it be."

Out of the abyss contained within a crevice on the lake floor came what could best be described as a guttural snarl. "Would it kill you to think critically for FIVE FUCKING SECONDS YOU STUPID BITCH." And out of the abyss it crawled. Purple skinned, tentacled, still to his moderate pleasure bone thin, but visibly inches away disturbingly so, white haired Mort. "WHY THE HELL WOULD I DO THIS TO MYSLEF?" Ray whizzed through the water behind him. Mort looked like he was going to smack Spencer down like the hand of God, possibly only holding onto his sanity by a hair.

"Leave her alone!" Tiff tossed a rock at Mort's head. He watched it fall buoyantly on the floor in front of him. His manic hungry gaze turned to her.

"Are you fucking serious?"

"Mort, chill out okay." mused Kiki Randolph emerging from the gaggle of other sisters, blue fin in tow. She moved over to her friend and nudged him while muttering something unintelligible. But what Tiff would have heard was. "Get her later, not Tiffany, Spencer. Tiff's just biting off more than she can chew." And Mort seemed contented with that. He moved over and ended up sticking himself to the rock formation where Leo'd wedged himself. They shot each other irritated looks.

"Do none of us seriously have some sort of …what's that word…direction?" Carrie asked, cocking her head to the side. Ray stopped by her head and shrugged, if eels could do that.

"Well we could try not fucking acting like flaming idiots and go to the surface. How have none of us acknowledged that?" he asked, eyebrow raised. They all gave each other embarrassed looks and Tiffany and Spencer rocketed to the surface.

Upon emerging the two girls surveyed the area. The campus was deadly quiet, horrifyingly so in fact. But in the distance they could hear shouting coming from the castle on the hill. Oh and a midget was tumbling down the hill that lead down to the lake but he stopped dead. He was followed by an elephant and some sort of bizarre tree spirit thing. Apparently they hadn't caught sight yet of Tiffany and Spencer.

…

There was a reason.

The castle didn't just exist in the middle of nowhere. In the distance you could usually see a neighbouring city not too far away, and before that a solid thick woods. Normal stuff.

Not this time. Beyond the perimeter of the school grounds there was just…nothing. Nothing but mist and fog. And while it did get foggy as was the case with…everywhere, it was just whiteness. Like nothing existed beyond their little island in the universe.

They were alone.  
…

STAY TUNED FOR PART 2


End file.
